How to be Patient when you are Impatient

“I never pray for patience,” my husband said matter-of-factly. “For I know if I do, I am going to end up in a traffic jam.”

There is a bit of truth to that statement. I have the feeling, it sums up how many of us feel about the idea of learning patience.

The reality is,

there is only one way to learn patience: having times where you have no other choice but to wait.

And the risk we take is actually admitting we are impatient. I sure don’t like admitting that to anyone, at least not out loud.

Well, here lately, I have been having those “traffic jam” moments. Not just one. But, quite a few of them. Which has caused me to realize that God has been trying to teach me something.

LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE

In the last year, I have embarked on something new to me. I have entered into the world of traditional book publishing.

For years, God has been working on my heart, redeeming my past, and challenging my point of view to help me see how He has gifted me to write. This blog, in fact, became a part of my leap of faith in getting started with a public writing ministry again.

But God, was patient with me in my scooting around His truth, and after a few months of blogging, reminded me how He had laid on my heart to write a book about overcoming the addiction to approval, not start a blog as I had done.

And so I went, rooting out my old book proposal from years ago, reading it again and coming to the realization that it was actually quite good. Which was a totally surprise me.

And so I decided I needed to obey God to obtain an agent to get my book published.

Now in theory, that sounds wonderful. But, in practicality it is a whole different story. You see in the publishing world things can move at a snails pace. A book that you get sold now may not be actually published until two years from now.

But for the sake of my example, and how God taught me how to be patient when I am being impatient, allow me just a moment to share with you how this long, tedious process works.

First you need to send an email to an agent to query them on your book idea. Different agents have different submission guidelines but most of the time they either want an entire book proposal or the first few pages of your book. You can choose to do snail mail if you still live in the dark ages, but really an email works just fine.

Wait.

4-6 weeks later, get an email back that will indicate their interest. Check your email incessantly day after day, hoping, no, WILLING, an email to come back from said agent, all the while being slightly fearful of what their email might say.

Receive email. Hallelujah!!! Hear angels singing, scream at the top of your lungs. (Oh wait, maybe that was just me.) Decide if I you should open email with friends or alone where no one can read the rejection with you.

You will know almost immediately whether or not they are interested. Agents are also writers, and they typically get to the point. Why dilly-dally.

Honestly, I think this process is to really train you for the long haul. I mean, it’s like becoming a runner. You don’t do a marathon before you run a 5k. In the book-publishing world, you need to be ready for the marathon; this is training for the long, hard race.

Back in January was when this all began. It took three different email inquiries to find an agent who showed interested. Hallelujah! I may or may not have screamed out loud in my office by myself, with no one around to say whether or not it happened. I plead the 5th.

But, because I am an unpublished author, the agent requested I write the manuscript before he’d consider signing me. Sigh. Hey if it was easy, everyone would do it.

Wait again. This time you are working frantically while you wait, because now you must produce the very thing you said you could. But nonetheless, it feels like a long drawn out wait because you won’t get an answer on representation until the manuscript is done.

And I don’t know about you, but I can’t produce a 50,000-60,000 word manuscript to perfection overnight.

Now fast forward a few months. Writing. Living. Writing some more.

During that time I decide I am going to attend a writer’s conference where I can pitch my idea to other agents (it’s a free market) and editors from various publishing houses. While also making contacts, learning how to write better and eventually market said book.

Good news! Conference went really well and had lots of interest.

Get home from conference to follow up with everyone I met with to send book proposals and thank you notes.

Email. Email. Email some more. And wait.

A few were quick to return responses within a week.

However, others, well, that is where the waiting patiently muscle has to be flexed.

Week, after week, after week, after week…nothing.

So now it’s been 9 months since I first started sending out the book proposal to agents and I have not signed with an agent, yet still have three I am waiting on response from. And an email inbox just waiting to receive their email.

Sigh. If only we could will an answer.

Oh and prayer? Yes, ma’am, pretty please, and believe me you there has been a lot of that going on.

DO THE OPPOSITE OF PATIENT

But these past few weeks I started to realize something about myself. I no longer having an internal struggle of impatience; it started erupting out of every part of me.

My arms would start flailing as I passionately expressed my challenges with this industry and process. My voice would get louder. I sometimes sounded, angry. Angry? Where did that come from? I mean, the view from the outside may be that of a child, throwing a fit.

Not me! I wouldn’t do that. Sigh. Blush. But I did. Oh yes I did.

So this week I reflected on the feelings being expressed during the wait. First of, I recognized how irritated I had become. Even offended, at times. It didn’t help that I compared their lack of response to other agents I was communicating with recently. Then there was the moaning, complaining and then my moments of venting annoyance.

And here is what the Holy Spirit, in my seeking said to me. Okay, really the Holy Spirit did not speak in an audible voice from heaven. It actually came from a colleague…but oh I knew it was Him as soon as she said it.

Here is what she said, “Do you not trust the Lord to supply the right agent at the right time. I mean, He got you this far. He’s not going to let you down now.”

Ouch. Anyone else have a friend like that? Man are they annoying.

But truly, we all need friends like these who listen to the Lord and are not afraid to share a fresh word of truth to us.

She was right. God was right. I was not trusting. My response was immature and completely impatient.

SURRENDER AND TRUST

The Lord’s intent was to teach me patience, however, I did the exact opposite.

But I learned an important lesson in this and maybe it will help you too.

The only way to learn patience when you are impatient is: surrender control and trust the Lord.
It’s doing the exact opposite of the thing you are doing. You see, I was playing tug-o-war with the Lord. I am a Bible-believing Christian. I do my quiet times in the morning. I spend time praying throughout the day.

Many times I would say to myself “I trust you Lord. Whatever you want Lord, I trust you.”

But I was taking it back. Every time I asked the question, why haven’t I heard yet? Every time I wondered if they had forgotten about me. When someone would ask how the process was going, it felt like salt in the wound, I wanted to be able to say I had an agent, a book contract the whole shebang.

You and I may believe God’s timing is perfect, but are we really surrendering our plans, our dreams, and our goals to allow Him to work them out in His timing. Or are we playing tug-of-war with our emotions, when the reality is we really aren’t in control.

So here is what I did. Maybe it is what you need to do too.

I went home. I picked up my laptop computer and I placed it in my hands. I literally lifted it off the table. You see, most days my hands are typing on the keyboard, holding it into place, keeping it under my control. But that night, I gave it all over to the Lord.

I repeated what Job said after he lost everything, “The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

His timing is perfect. His plan is already in place. Do you trust Him?

The only way you are ever going to be able to show patience in the midst of impatience is if you surrender it all and trust Him to do the work He is more than capable of doing. Let Him be your advocate. And lay the rope down.

What are you struggling with right now that is making you extremely impatient? Is there something that represents what are you are struggling with that you can use as you surrender and trust the Lord?

9 Ways to Love an Addict Even When It Hurts

Trying to love someone in active addiction is hard. Frustrating. It can be downright heart-wrenching.

In fact, apart from God, it is impossible. 

Because here’s the deal, the person you once knew (the sober person) they are gone. You are dealing with someone completely different. Someone who has now decided to partner with darkness and who is in bondage to an ugly, flesh-eating, family-destroying, brain deteriorating drug. That drug has now consumed them, every bit of them: mind, body, and soul. The only thing they now care about is getting their next high, their next fix, their next drunken stupor and who you are and what you meant to them no longer matters.

Trying to love someone in addiction feels about the same as picking a rose from a bush. You know there is beauty at the end of it, but your going to have to go through a whole lot of pain to get there.

As we discussed in last week’s post, you need to be emotionally and spiritually healthy…full of compassion, love, and forgiveness if you are going to have a chance at loving them well. The only way to do that is through the Spirit of God, because it is God who taught us to love in the first place.we-love-because-he-first-loved-usIn Galatians 5, Paul is sharing with the church in Galatia about their freedom and how through their freedom they can either choose to walk by the Spirit or by their flesh. In 5:13 14 he says, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.  For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

What does it mean to live by the flesh?

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)

Now before we start judging those around us let’s take a look at some of these that related to us loving our neighbors in addiction. Last week we talked about forgiveness because we were angry at the people who are in addiction…that can easily be also viewed as hatred, discord, fits of rage, dissensions, or factions. We also may had to confess our anger with God for what has happened. When we put up anything before our worship of God, we are in the sin of idolatry. Idolizing “little gods” that we put in the place of our Almighty God is truly not hard to do. I know this because I do it. It is also why God made sure to make it second of the 10 Commandments.

So now that we can see that we all fall into one of these categories of walking in the flesh .(I didn’t even get into the other ones…that is another post in and of itself, just remember there are no rankings there. Witchcraft was right next to hatred, and factions came right before drunkenness and orgies. Hello!) Let’s be reminded why it is of utmost importance to have the Spirit of God as we seek to love those in addiction.

The very next verse explains it all:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Gal 5:22-23)

Because the fruit we need to bear is from the Spirit of God there is no way to truly love someone unless His Spirit is in us.

In the Galatians 5:22 verse, it says “fruit of the Spirit,” not fruits of the Spirit.

One of the things I love about God is He is can be very mysterious.

When we think of a fruit we think of a singular item. But when He defines “fruit of the Spirit” He multiplies it. So instead of us bearing only one kind of fruit we bear nine.

Because of this I don’t believe the fruit of the Spirit has a specific order to them, one is not greater than another, they are all equal. However, for the purposes of this post, I am going to pull them out one-by-one in a way that will help us all learn how to love our neighbors in addiction.

FIRST FRUIT: SELF-CONTROL

If you are going to love, nah, scratch that, when you are loving someone in active addiction, you are going to have to learn the word, “No.”

So, let’s start there. Repeat after me, “No.” Good, say it again. “No.” One more time like you really mean it. “No.”

Yeah! High-five! How did that feel?

In order for you to love someone in active addiction you will have to set boundaries. And the best way for you to start that is realizing you will have to say, “No.”

Boundaries are good and healthy. God sets up boundaries for us in order to help us, guide us, and set us free. It is just like how we set up boundaries for our children…go to bed by 8, up by 6, don’t eat too much sugar, save your money, don’t touch the hot stove…these are all boundaries we set for our children to help them stay healthy and not endanger themselves…right? Most of the time it’s because Mom/Dad needs rest and a sugar-high kid can drive you nuts , and who needs more Legos to step on, and the stove just hurts, right? You get me? Ok, good.

Boundaries are a form of self-control. By setting up boundaries around us, we are telling others what they can and cannot do. By saying “no” to the person who has chosen alcohol/drugs over your relationship you are communicating to them, “Your destructive choices are not going to determine how I live my life.” When we respond this way we are exhibiting self-control. And in doing so, we are also loving them. We are loving them because we are also no longer enabling them by giving into their every need. When we enable an addict, we can basically start digging thelatishaeditedir grave. The last thing an addict needs is for you to give into everything they ask for because once they know you’ll give it to them, they’ll just keep coming back. if they know you’ll give them money, they will give you every excuse in the book to get more. if you will continuously get them out of jail, not only will you chance losing everything, they’ll continue to make the same poor choices, cause they know someone will always bail them out.

You want to know why addicts continue to cycle in and out of their addiction, in and out of homelessness, in and out of jail? Enabling is a big part of that equation. Exhibiting self-control on your part can help them to hit their rock bottom. From there they can start healing. That in essences, is one of the most loving things you can do.


Enabling = death. Boundaries =life.


SECOND FRUIT: GENTLENESS

How about gentleness?

The definition of gentleness is: Sensitivity of disposition and kindness of behavior, founded on strength and prompted by love.

When an addict is spinning out of control and they are angry at you and the world around them your response in gentleness can disarm them. It gives them less reason to keep responding to you in that manner. It can also restore them and keep them from continuing to sin.

Galatians 6:1 says, ” Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

And no one needs you too falling into temptation cause then things just go from bad to worse. In this case, you may not be tempted to use drugs or alcohol, but you may be tempted to get angry right back at them. You may want to use your own set of manipulative techniques to try and get them to stop using. Either way, responding with gentleness is yet another way you can show love to your neighbor in addiction.

THIRD FRUIT: PATIENCE

We live in a society of now. Of have it your way, when you want it, how you want it. And nothing will teach you patience like addiction, I can promise you that. I have driven in snowstorms that should have been a 30 minute trip that took 7 hours and honey, that is NOTHING compared to the patience you’ll need to love someone in active addiction. I can’t tell you anything more than the straight out truth…this is your reality. There are no silver bullets, there is no perfect prayer to pray, fasamberting will change you but I cannot promise it will do anything for them. The only healer I can point you to is Jesus and His timing on this is often way different than ours.

But to exhibit patience you will have to stop trying to control the person and the situation. Trying to control them may even make it worse. You have to let them go. As scary as I know that sounds you have to them let go because the only way for them to ever get clean is if they hit their rock bottom. You don’t know where that bottom is. I don’t know where that bottom is. Only God knows. We need to trust Him with their deliverance. Patience speaks love to an addict because they know loving them can be hard. But when you respond to them with patience, you are saying, “I love you even in the midst of what you are going through and being here for you is more important than what I want for you.”

FOURTH FRUIT: PEACE

Which is why you are also going to have to ask God to give you supernatural peace. A few weeks ago, I talked about how important it is to have peace and suggested how you can obtain it. But here is the gist of it…you don’t have peace because your worry, anxiety and fear are ruling you. And listen sweet Mama, I am talking to you again, with my tender eyes looking at yours, and my hand on your hand…I know why. I know why you worry. It’s because that is your baby and you still see that sweet baby insides the drug that has consumed your child.

But you must remember that sweet baby grew up and starting making their own decisions and forgot all the things you taught them. All they care about right now is them. So just as I explained in my last post that no matter who we are, we are going to have to forgive them, God and yourself, now we need to take care of our hearts and give over that anxiety, worry and fear to God.

 “Do not worry about anything but in everything with prayer and petition, give thanks to God. And the God of peace who surpasses all understanding will guard your heart in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Because when you are trying so hard to love someone who can no longer conceivably love you back, you need your heart guarded by the only one that can truly protect it. Can I get an Amen?

Guarding your heart with peace is yet another way to love a person in addiction because your peace overflows into their lives. When you are feeling peace, you speak peace into them, you pray peace over them, you respond to them with peace and in doing so, they will start to experience that peace and want it for their own life.

FIFTH FRUIT: FAITHFULNESS

Next up, is faithfulness. You be faithful to that person. You be faithful in prayer. And when you pray you pray for big things, believing big things knowing that you serve a God who is BIG. Ephesians 3:20 speaks so well to this…for He can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. Circle that person up in this scripture verse. You dream up who that person will become and you start speaking that over their life. You don’t focus on where they are now but rather where they will be when they are fully restored.

” For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 3:20)

I speak this to the girls we minster to in the jail whenever I get the chance to. You know why? It speaks hope. It reminds them that God already knows what their good works will be, He already prepared them. And I challenge them with this…

“Will you dare to walk in those good works you were already purposed for or will you continue in the lifestyle you are in? Will you choose to allow the devil to continue to steal, kill and destroy (as he has already done so well) or will you choose a life of abundance.”

patienceBut here’s the deal. I have said those words to hundreds of women. But only a few have actually take me up on it. The rest, I am still waiting on. Because being faithful means never giving up on them, it means loving them, even if its from a distance. Faithful means  believing God for their healing,  pursuing them letting them know you are there when they are ready, and most importantly praying for them daily.

Prayer is one of the most powerful tools you have. Do not downplay its effectiveness in this situation. I have pleaded on the behalf of women who relapsed that the Lord would spare her life and if she would not get clean, that she would be placed back in jail. I would beg God to keep her from the grave.

Jail may not be the place that you would want to be, but I can promise you this, when you are stuck in addiction and spiraling out of control, it can feel like the hand of God pulling you out of your pit and saving you from destruction.

We must choose to be faithful through the Spirit as it does not come naturally to us. And as we do, we will show those in active addiction our love for them.

SIXTH FRUIT: KINDNESS

Which brings me to kindness. The Bible says, it’s by His kindness that He calls us to repentance.

Job 6:14 says,  “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. We are to show kindness as He has shown us kindness.

Our kindness, when faced with adversity, draws people to God. Cause it begs the question, “Why?” Why would you show me kindness when I have done these things to you? You cannot show kindness to someone you are angry at. You can’t show kindness to the person who frustrates you. It’s only through the Spirit that you can show kindness to those who are difficult to love. Don’t forget that Job, the author of our verse above was being mocked by his friends for the trials he was going through. This is Job’s response in the midst of that. Can you show kindness in the midst of your trial? Is there someone you can show kindness to who is trying to overcome their addiction?

SEVENTH FRUIT: GOODNESS

And we must point them to the goodness of God. If all you ever do is remind them of His wrath, His discipline, of Hell, you mind as well say your final goodbyes. They will run to the hills and they may never look back. More than anything they need to know that they have a God who loves them regardless of what they have done. One of the ways they can know that is how you show them.

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EIGHTH FRUIT: JOY

Of all the fruit of the Spirit, this one may be the hardest one to exhibit when you are trying to love someone in active addiction. There is absolutely nothing joyful or joy-filled about this situation for anyone involved. In fact, its the exact opposite. It can be down-right heart wrenching to watch someone you love destroy themselves. So why in the world, would I even consider using the fruit of the Spirit with this included in it to explain how we can love people in addiction?

Because you can’t love someone in active addiction in your own strength. It is absolutely physically impossible. In our own strength we will become exhausted, frustrated, angry, depressed, bitter, enraged, lonely, or just completely complacent. I have heard people say that it feels like torture to not know whether or not their loved one is alive or dead.

That is why we need to rely on God. When we do He reveals to us how we are to respond to challenges such as these.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3, NIV)

Consider it pure joy?! Really?! Why in the world would we want to consider trials, such as trying to love our neighbors in addiction, as pure joy. Has James lost his mind? I actually think James actually learned a huge spiritual secret in how to live. It’s in the next few verses we see that not only can we learn perseverance (also known as patience…I think we talked about that one already) but James says that we can also become mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James knows something, we can all learn from and that is if we focus in on our situation we’ll find nothing but grief and despair. But if we look beyond it, realizing that it’s not going to change anytime soon, but instead we can change…well, then mayyoull-need-to-choose
be then there is something to this. You and I have to choose to go on, even as our neighbors stay stuck in their addictions. Even as they become more and more destructive. And with those choices, we can choose joy or we can choose sorrow or anger or defeat. But know this: your choice either way will not change their sobriety, but it will determine how you live and whether or not you are capable of truly loving them.

Consider it pure joy….because you will persevere, you will be mature and complete, lacking nothing. Including with it the ability to love.

NINTH FRUIT: LOVE

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I like to save the best things for last. And this piece of our fruit is most certainly the juiciest of all. I know, I know I am contradicting myself. But I can do that, it’s my blog. Here is the proof in the pudding. We cannot love our neighbors in addiction without the Spirit because the Spirit produces love. It’s plain as it can be.

And this love is the greek word “agape” which is a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love.

Paul could have used one of the other four versions of this word, but he chose the one that he knew spoke of the love of the Father. And that is exactly the kind of love we are to have as well.

Selfless.
Sacrificial.
Unconditional.

This means listening to them, taking time to hear their struggles and empathizing with them, offering them a shoulder to cry on, allowing them to share their hurts, apologizing even when you may not have done anything (not to encourage their behaviors but to let them know you see their pain), apologizing when you have done something.

What if you said, “I am so sorry i have been enabling you all this time, I didn’t realize how hurtful that has been for you to be able to heal and stop using. I am going to do my best to help you make your own decisions and not do things that you can do on your own.”

Loving is putting their emotions before yours, even when you are hurting. Loving is sacrificial in that you would choose to love, over choosing to judge. This does not mean sacrificing EVERYTHING you have to try and save them. Remember there is only ONE SAVIOR and His name is Jesus.

These are the nine fruit of the Spirit and it is with this fruit that we can fully, completely, selflessly, sacrificially, and unconditional love our neighbors in addiction as ourself.

Sometimes when you are too close to the situation, trying to love your neighbor in active addiction can feel like you are inflicting more pain on yourself. What do you do to self-care when loving them gets too hard?

 

 

What Happens When Fear Wins?

I got to thinking this past week. What would have happened if I allowed my fears to get the best of me. What is at stake if I choose to avoid the things I feel God leading me to do and let them pass me by?

For the last five weeks we have been talking about how to overcome our fears. Doing so is not easy, but hopefully one you feel a bit more equipped to accomplish. I have one more piece of advice for you before we end this series, but before we get to that let’s take a quick walk back through the main points from the last 5 weeks so we can be sure to receive all God taught us during this time.

Let me remind you that this is an on-going process and you are going to need to exhibit patience and perseverance through it. The reality is that we will always have another fear to overcome, another area of our life that God wants us to gain freedom in so that we can live our lives to the full, as He wants us to do according to John 10:10.

So let’s walk through what we learned through this series on overcoming our fears:

First we talked through how we can overcome our fears with peace by praying through Philippians 4:6-7 which says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

It is through this verse that we can know that our God is full of peace and that peace can guard our hearts against worry, anxiety and fear to help us overcome any situation we are walking through.

Second, we learned how to surrender our need for control, which can only intensify our fears. Jeremiah 29:11 was our guide for this post and it reminded us that God is in control and has the very best plans in mind for us, plans not to harm us to give us hope and a future. We learned how to follow a few steps in the process of surrendering by repenting, renewing our mind, releasing, and obeying God.

Next we talked about how important it is to have an on-going relationship with God and to be in the Bible everyday to be able to overcome your fears. Joshua 1:7-9 which reads, “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” reminded us that the only way we were going to be able to be strong and courageous is if we get into God’s word and get it in our mind and in our hearts.

The fourth week we learned how to fight and whom our fight was against. We were reminded that the devil likes to scheme against us as he is constantly plotting and planning his next move. But we are not left without a way to fight back. Ephesians 6:12-17 reminds us who our enemy is, powers and principalities of darkness, and the armor that we need to put on to fight against that enemy. I hope you are now starting to pray that armor on every day, Warrior. If you are going to stand firm, which I know you can, you’re going to need this as a daily habit to withstand whatever it is your enemy throws at you.

Then last week we all got a gut check when we realized we need to quit complaining about our fears over lack of provision. I shared Psalm 116:17 as the antidote “I will sacrifice a thank-offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.” In that we need to give thank offerings. How many found yourself complaining this week and switched to thanks and praise instead? The struggle is real; I know it, my friend.

So now you are armed with five scripture verses that I hope you are starting to outline, study, memorize and get into your heart. That way when the enemy starts coming at you with all the reasons you should be afraid, you have got a contingency plan of scripture verses you can say recite to show how powerful YOU are.

So here is my last bit of advice for you as you seek to overcome your fears. I learned very early on in my process of following God’s vision now called “The Link of Cullman County” that more often than not the only way I was going to overcoming my fear was to do the thing I was most afraid of doing. Which meant, I could not allow the fear to win.

To highlight my point to you today we are going to go into the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was a Jewish prophet during a time in which Jerusalem was in ruin. He served as a cup-bearer to King Artaxerxes (Neh 1:11b), in a foreign land. We learn very quickly his heart for his people as his brother shares with him that the city of Jerusalem has been “broken down and its gates have been burned with fire.” (Neh 1:3) Nehemiah’s response is one to be admired.

“When I heard these things, I sat down and wept, for some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.” (Neh 1:4) See what I mean? When was the last time you wept, mourned, fasted, and prayed for several days over something that God broke your heart over? Yeah. Me too.

Next, he prayed one of the most beautiful prayers in scripture. And then he waited. (If you have not read Nehemiah it is definitely a book in the Bible you want to study.)

The reality was he had no other choice. Nehemiah had no power or authority to do anything about the city that had him heartbroken. He was in service to a king who did not have the same beliefs as him, didn’t care about the things he cared about and did not worship the same God he worshipped. In fact, the only things they had in common was their humanity and the place they lived.

Nehemiah was stuck. He lived in one place and his heart longed to be in another.

And it apparently started to show. About four months later, the king asked him why he looked so sad, as he knew he was not ill. “This can be nothing but sadness of heart.” (v. 2)

And then came the response that we all need to hear. The thing that separates those that do AMAZING and BIG things for God compared to those who completely miss out. This one line changed everything for Nehemiah and it can change everything for you.

I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, ‘May the king live for ever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire.” (v. 2b-3)

Did you catch it? Nehemiah said, “I was very much afraid, but…” Oh and don’t leave off the “but.” The “but”, shows he took action. He did it even though he was very afraid. Just like you and me Nehemiah, the man who would go on to rebuild Jerusalem, the prophet who now has his own dedicated book of the bible, was afraid. And not just afraid, he was VERY afraid. Does that not give you comfort?

SO here’s the main point that I want to make sure I get across to you in all of this. If you want to do the thing that God is calling you to do, you are going to have to be willing to do it AFRAID. That’s right.

Do it afraid.

But make sure you follow God’s prescription for Nehemiah with this:

  1. If God lays something on your heart that feels bigger than you you need to repent, pray, fast, and mourn.
  2. Keep praying over it; don’t give up.
  3. Have patience. It was four months before God opened the door for Nehemiah to share with the king.
  4. Do it afraid.

How do I know this works? You only have to look a few lines down in Nehemiah to see. The King responded to him.

“What is it you want?” (v.4)

He did not scold Nehemiah. He didn’t tell him to keep is opinions to himself. He didn’t send him to jail or to his death. He asked him what he needed. And Nehemiah laid it all out for him. “Letters for travel and letters to get timber.” (my paraphrase)

The king not only gave him what he requested but he also gave him army officers and cavalry to ensure his safety. WHAT?! Only God could do something like this for Nehemiah, and only God can do something like this for you.

You see when you pray into that thing that feels bigger than you and do what He is calling you to, even when you are afraid, God does the impossible. (Luke 18:27)

How else do I know this to be true? Because I lived it.

God gave me a vision for my city in December of 2010 that broke my heart and left me wanting more. It wasn’t until October of 2011 that He revealed to me it was time to start the work of bringing the vision into fruition. Day by day I learned to trust and obey him by doing whatever it was He laid on my heart to do…and I did it VERY afraid. Seriously, I was petrified. And little by little God started to open up doors with the people I needed to see and speak with in order to accomplish the thing He had called me to do. I can tell you now that the best thing I ever did, was choose to “do it afraid.” In fact, I would suggest to you today, I don’t have a choice anymore. Now that we are heading to the end of our fourth year as an organization, the only way we continue on is if I continue to do things afraid. There is too much at stake.

But what if I chose to not do the thing I am afraid of? What if I decided to let fear win? Then what?

Well, let’s put this into perspective for a moment in relation to my experience. You may want to consider your own, but what if I didn’t trust God and do the things He called me to do because I was too afraid?

What if I was too afraid to talk to bank presidents, our Wise Up financial literacy program for teens would not be in every school in the Cullman Area. For the past four years, thousands students would not have been equipped to make wise decisions with their money as they moved on from the 9th and 12th grade. Many of them would not be breaking generational poverty in their families as they are doing now.

What if I was too afraid to ask to ask a church council for the use of their building for free we would not been able to minster to thousands of people who were hopeless, helpless, homeless, jobless, illiterate and afraid. And this is a big one, because had I been too afraid to ask once I would never have asked a second time for a building significantly larger than the first. And we would not be renovating a 22,000 sq foot building compared to the 1800 sq feet in the first.

What if I was too afraid to talk to City Council we would not have been able to partner with Cullman Mental Health to receive joint funding to help place homeless men and families into housing for the first few years. And they also would not have been willing to fund us once we received our 501c3.

What if I was too afraid to share the gospel with women in the jail? Someone else would have received the blessing of ushering them into the kingdom of God and I would have missed out.

What if I was too afraid to talk in front of large groups of people? I would have never have gone to the jail and shared with the men and women in the dorms our vision for hope and their opportunities for classes. And many inmates would not be equipped to live life differently through the many classes we have taught at the jail. I also would never have shared our vision with churches, civic groups, students, and over 10,000 people at Rock the South!

And the most important of all of these is what if I was too afraid to trust Him at all, then over 7,000 people would not have had the their lives transformed through the vision my team and I steward every day. Including myself.

You see, there is just too much at stake for me and there is too much at stake for you.

So do it afraid, don’t let fear win. No matter what it is. And I promise you, God will bless it and you will see the vision He has laid on your heart come to fruition.You will become a walking example of John 10:10, living the life that Jesus came to give you…to the full.

Which blog post in this “Overcoming Fear” series over the last 6 weeks has meant the most to you? Why?